Waqt De Do Bas Thoda

Hi!

Returning after so long feels like going to the home you spent your childhood in. You have shifted from the place long back, but every time you visit it is like entering a different life altogether, a life where everything was so simple, so pure. A life where there were new fights with friends daily and the way to make up was to hug each other. A life where food cooked by mom was an everyday happening, not a once-in-four-months event. A life where every evening was spent in waiting for the next day so I could could go to school and meet my best friend again.

Aah! How has life become. Every little thing makes me nostalgic. Anyway, this post is not about my childhood. It's about a very important phase of my life called SIP process in MBA life. We have this concept called 'September Syndrome'. Now, don't ask me what it is, because I can't reveal it. You know, hashtag XL culture and such stuff. But, here's a short poem that I wrote to save yours truly from this syndrome. Tried my hand at Hindi after a long time..


Pata hai waqt nahi de pa rahe tumhe.. Par khud ko bhi kho chuke hain is daud mein..
Yaad nahi pichhli baar hase kab the.. Kisi dost se kabhi baat kab ki thi..
Purani zindagi bahut yaad aati hai par lauta nahi ja sakta.. Kuch kathin kadam badha liye hain..

Waqt de do bas thoda.. Karz rahega..
Saara kuch tumhara hi hai.. Apna kuch bacha nahi..
Aaine mein jo insaan dikhta hai, pehchaan nahi aata.. Sab kuch badal sa gaya hai..
Phir bhi umeed hai ek nanhi si..
Ek din sab thik hoga.. Pehle jaisa jab koi chinta nahi thi.. Chehre pe shikan ka koi nishaan nahi tha..
Waqt thama rehta tha, maano keh raha ho k kar lo mazze, tumhe aise dekh k achchha lagta hai..
Abhi kal hi to saath the.. Raaste naapte, bas chale jate the..
Wo zindagi bahut door ja chuki hai, par chah hai k uske saath phir jald hi honge..
Waqt de do bas thoda.. Karz rahega..



Signing off for now, hope to be back again soon this time. :)

You Are Not A Teenager Anymore!

Someone once said that a sister is a best friend that the nature gifts you. As usual, this someone was right; it just took me 18 years to realize it. I don’t remember much about our early childhood, just a few moments:

You were a few months old and in my lap. You peed on my favourite green frock but I did not flinch. I remember not being angry. I smiled.

You turned 2. I was 7 but spent two entire days to make a card for you. It was my sister’s birthday after all!

You were 3 and tore a page of my Hindi textbook. That was the first time I was furious with you. I complained to mum but she said it was okay - you were young. I remember hating you for it.

You were 4. I was thrashed by mum for not studying. You said you won’t eat coz you can’t tolerate mum hitting me. I realized you were an asset, not a liability.

You were 6. I had this huge fight with all the neighbourhood kids. You went outside and beat down a guy THRICE your size into pulp. I thanked my lucky stars.

You were 9. I used one of your birthday cards for my poster. You went into a rage I had never witnessed. We both know you still blame me for it. Lemme tell you a secret today – it was mum’s idea!

You were 11. I left home for coaching for competitive exams. I don’t even know if I am aware of all the things you wanted but sacrificed so that I get to live lavishly. You have no idea how grateful I’ll remain for the rest of my life.

You were 13 and I took a drop. You know how this story goes so let’s not discuss it. Just two words - Thank you!

I was 18 and went to college. All you wanted to talk about was my college and friends and bunks and what not. I did not realize when did I become centre of your life.

I was 21 and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You helped me survive, reminded me what I deserve. I still have your messages saved baby.

I was 22 and cracked all the competitive exams. I remember you saying that you are proud of me and it was just the beginning.

I was still 22 and landed the best job in the college. I know you still boast about it to your friends.

Today, you turn 19 and this is to tell you that tables have again turned and you are again the centre of my existence sweetheart. You have been there for me in thick and thin. I remember praying to God for several years that I wanted an elder brother instead of a younger sister and that he should somehow arrange for an exchange to take place, but I realize how silly it was. Today, I wouldn’t exchange you for the world. You are the light of my life baby. I know I don’t talk to you daily and wish you luck for only about one in your six exams, but that doesn't mean I love you any less. Now whenever you are angry, just go through this post. And for the hundredth time, I am sorry I couldn't be with you on your special day. But don’t worry, your shopping account is safe. ;)

Happy Birthday baby! Have a great life ahead! Love you loads.

P. S. I know mum loves you more. I have finally made peace with it.

The Delhi Braveheart, Delhi and Us

One year. Endless protests. Continuous tears. Political drama. Juvenile discussions. Conclusion – meh!

It has been one year since the Delhi braveheart was brutally gang-raped on one cold winter night and we are still at exactly the same point it all started. What has changed? Girls are still getting raped on roads, in hospitals, on their honeymoons, workplaces,.. the list goes on. Will there be an end to it, ever? What pains me further is now it is not just limited to adolescent girls; the claws of these merciless animals have not left even kids. Every time I hear about an innocent little girl aged 4 raped somewhere, a part of me dies. What coerced us to become so utterly inhuman that our young ones who are not even aware of what ‘rape’ is, are subjected to it?

There are times when all I can think about is Damini’s family. In what condition will Damini’s parents be? When her dad comes home now, who would hug him? Are there times when her mom needs to call someone for any assistance and ends up calling her name? How she must feel when the realization dawns upon her for the nth time? Who ties rakhi to her brothers now? These are some of the most basic things that may happen every other day. They have received a wound that will remain open for the rest of their lives but what have we learnt?

On one hand is my uncle’s family. During the whole time, when this news was broadcast, he didn’t allow anyone in the home to watch any of the news channels. According to him, he didn’t want to ruin it for his daughters. He believes that just by not allowing them to watch news, he can keep their world rosy forever. I still can’t get his viewpoint. If we don’t know what can strike us anytime, how can we be prepared? You can stop us from going out post-evening but these incidents happen even during daytime. Every college has a bunch of guys whose sole purpose in life is eve-teasing. Someone very close to me has been molested in train by a 50 year old man and the poor girl couldn’t do anything but shout at him once. When I think of all this, I reach to the conclusion that awareness is necessary. But is being aware and alert enough?

On the other hand, we have broad-minded parents like mine, who have always thought that their daughters should get the best education, so what if they are girls? They can walk on the same path that boys do; there’s nothing that their girls can’t achieve, sky is the limit for them. The darling daughter can study as much she wants, can work in any company of her choice, can take her own decisions. But, unfortunately, this whole mindset was a year back. When I joined the company I’m working for right now about six months back, I was hoping I could get posted in Delhi. And this was the moment when all hell broke loose. The girl, who was not told ‘NO’ for anything up until now, was severely reprimanded. When I tried to rebel, my mother tried to explain me gently, “Till the time you reach home, we’ll be worried to death. And this will happen daily. What if one of us fell ill just worrying about you?” That was the time I realized the world will never be the same. In spite of having asked for Delhi already, I simply whisper to God, “I love my parents. I don’t want Delhi.”

She and It

Yes, she is a girl just like me. She too has hopes, dreams, aspirations. Hers favourite too is gupchup I guess. She also likes stories with happy endings. Her upset mood suddenly turns awesome when it rains, just like mine does. And yeah! She too believes in love. Hopes to find her Mr. Perfect. The one who is going to love her, care for her but at the same time, won’t cut her wings if she wants to fly high. She is ambitious, just like I am. And look! She has finally found him. The man of her dreams. The love of her life. She sees him coming on a white horse and sweeping her off her feet. She is happy. Way too happy. She hasn’t been so happy for so long. She is exhilarated. She is euphoric. She is on top of the world with her head held high, coz he is exactly like she wanted her Prince Charming to be. He doesn’t stop her, lets her make her own paths just like a river, clashing with so many rocks, but finally finding a way. She doesn’t care what goes around in the world. She has him. Her happy ending.

But wait! What’s this? What’s happening? Someone is there. Someone who wasn’t supposed to be. Where did this person come from? She has no idea. All she knows is there’s someone who holds his heart, who resides in his soul. He can’t stop thinking about this person. He just can’t give it up. It’s unachievable but still, he has his mind on it. He talks to her but thinks about it. She’s telling him about an adversity she braved today but all he can feel is the feeling when he came in contact with it yesterday. She puts on a happy face and listens to him. She’s worried. She’s afraid. What has happened to her happy little world? He’s still her prince coz he loves her a lot. But, he loves it as well. Maybe a bit more, maybe a bit less. She’s scared now but she’s helpless. She can’t do anything. She blames everything on her fate and carries on. Her Mr. Perfect is goes away from her towards it while she stands there. And all she does is carrying on.

And I? Well, I don’t know what to do or feel. Coz she is a lot like me. But I am the ‘it’.

To Our Dear Bollywood

Just finished watching ‘Salaam-e-Ishq’. Yup. The Bollywood movie which was released in 2007. And my feminist side can’t help being over-active right now. I don’t get it, what is wrong with Indians? I don’t understand how in the end, almost every female character surrenders herself to her husband/boyfriend/taxi driver. For those who haven’t watched it, lemme sum it up. Juhi Chawla takes back her husband who was essentially cheating on her. Ayesha Takia marries her boyfriend who wants nothing more than to enjoy his bachelor status forever. The foreigner who came all the way from States to marry her boyfriend ends up proposing her taxi driver. So what if he helped her throughout? There’s a very basic thing called standard of living, and theirs are as different as they come. And the worst case is Priyanka Chopra’s. She gives up her entire career just to get married to the man she loved coz he asked her to choose between the two. What kinda man does that? 

Now I have really started to think that possibly, Indian cinema is hugely responsible for the demeaning status of women in our society. Does the success of a woman’s life depend only on the fact whether she gets a good husband? Does a woman become a joke if her husband is cheating on her? And do we make a wrong decision if we choose our career over our man? I don’t think so! If I’m getting a great college/job and my guy asks me to leave everything and stay with him as a housewife and I refuse, does it make me heartless? No, it does not! Then why does our film industry think so? Except for a handful of women oriented movies, does it have hopefully, anything in its pocket to defend itself? If they use the old saying that movies are mirror of society then lemme tell you, it’s completely the other way round today. Youngsters think its okay to pester a girl coz ultimately she will come around seeing their persistence. Men think its okay to cheat on their wives coz they are sure she’ll forgive him even if she comes to know of it. After all, she’s a ‘bhartiya naari’. Perhaps the girls who suffer the most are college going girls. I’m sure no explanation is needed here. Sadly, our society is changed so much that women find faults with themselves even if they are the victim. 

It was really nice watching the whole film industry gather to pay respect to the Delhi braveheart. But I keep on wondering why can’t they come forward and ask the government to take some concrete steps towards proper punishment for rapists? We, as common public, can only protest and sign petitions and we did it. But these people have power; they know they will be followed in whatever they do. So why don’t they? Some of them are even MPs. They can initiate the whole process in the Parliament; simply shedding tears once in a while here and there won’t do. On a positive note, kudos to Mr. Javed Akhtar for his words and actions during that time.

I really believe that movies can bring a change in the mindset of people. We can teach some misguided souls that it’s not a girl’s fault that she was raped. And hopefully, with time, our scientists (who are supposed to be the intelligent sect) and saints (who are supposed to be the spiritual sect) will understand that it’s right if a girl protests against getting raped and there’s no way that the rapists will become here brothers. Till then, it continues to pain me as I see some girls watching videos of Honey Singh and drooling over him as his remarks get more and more derogatory.

My Dear Friend

This post is about perhaps the favourite person of my college life. May be not always acknowledged, but nevertheless true. She is always there, irrespective of the circumstances I’m in. And she’s omnipresent. Always ready to help whenever you need, even if you don’t ask.

You need a shoulder to cry on, she’s there.

You had a bad day and want to be cheered up, she’s there.

You are not feeling well, she’s there to tend.

You are feeling low, she’s there.

You are feeling like jumping around and singing on the top of your voice, she won’t think of you as a weirdo.

You are wearing some stupid silly dress which you won’t even let you maid wear and you hear someone complimenting you, you know it’s her.

You can actually see your flabs making a tyre around you, she comes and says, “Arrey pagal hai kya? Tera aur mera size same hi hai.” (She’s leaner than size zero by the way!)

You need to get a gift for your crush and its just 15 minutes left for your hostel to close, be sure she’ll come with you.

You’re getting late in the morning but want to put on a particular pair of earrings and you’re unable to do so, she’ll leave everything and help you with it even though she has an exam in 10 minutes!

As usual, you’re late for a party and still unable to decide what to wear, stay assured! She’ll get ready in 5 minutes and pick out atleast half a dozen dresses from your own cupboard which you never remembered having!

Hostel night is about to start in 10 minutes and you want to wax your legs. You haven’t ever done it before and you have heard it hurts like hell. She’s gonna be the one to do it and so soothingly, that you won’t even know when it got started and finished.

You’re missing a particular friend who has moved out of the hostel. Stay assured! If she meets them tomorrow, your message will be conveyed. She never forgets!

You wanna do a French plait for college and you don’t know how to do it. She’ll wake up immediately and start working on your hair. And she will do the same thing for any other hostel girl as well – will skip her breakfast, miss half of her first lecture so that you could go with a French plait to college.

You are having a sudden craving for choco truffle and you ask her if she could come along, she would actually come from whichever part of the city she’s in!

Sometimes I wonder, “Is she for real?” Sometimes she's invisible, behind the scenes, in shadows. But the moment you need her, she emerges. I truly have never seen such a self sacrificing person my entire life. Dear Lord, please bless her – for all she does. And for all she says. And for all she thinks. Infact, she should be blessed simply for existing. Coz people like her make the world a better place to live in.

Ms. G, love you loads baby! You are the best!

XOXO

A New Discovery

Last Saturday, I went out with this senior of mine -- a male senior. I'm calling him a senior just for the sake of it; we are essentially on the first name basis. Actually I had plans of shopping and I called him up to ask the exact location of Lajpath Nagar market. But, as it turned out, he was upset over something. So, I shocked myself by sacrificing my perhaps only opportunity left to shop and asked him if he wanted to hang out or something. I mean, come on, since when did I become the one to set aside my ego and ask someone to spend time? But then, he was upset and... well, he has always been my Agony Aunt so I simply had to be there for him. But being the perfect gentleman he is, he obviously didn't want to ruin my plans for shopping but eventually we decided to go out for a movie.

This may be a trivial thing for many of you but looking at the chaos in my life, it is an important discovery for me. So, I had this amazing time with him and we watched this not-so-amazing movie The Amazing Spiderman. It was pathetically predictable from the beginning to the end. Still, I enjoyed the coke and nachos. And, what I discovered was that it's completely alright to be 'just  friends' with someone from the opposite sex. It's not that I don't have any male friends, I have tons. But some are childhood friends, some are the ones who have asked me out at some point of time and some others are friends of my friends of the second category. There are many more but i simply never went out with them-- alone, that is. So I simply enjoyed the time I spent with him without any qualms.

I love the fact that I was completely relaxed when we decided to meet. I usually have jitters when I'm meeting someone after a long time though I come out as completely confident. ;)

And I'm proud of myself coz I did not go berserk when he asked if we could go for a movie coz the Lord knows I'm not into malls and movies. And I've never been to a movie alone with a guy.

And I feel great for the fact that I did not react stupidly when there was a fight scene between Spiderman and the transformed Dr. Connors. The girl next  to me was clinging to her boyfriend as if her life depended on it and her boyfriend swiftly covered her eyes with his hand. Uff, for crying out aloud, it was just a fight scene; no ghost was coming out of the screen!

And I'm grateful coz I didn't need to speak to him during the movie. Believe me, its not possible when you go to a movie with your boyfriend. He always feels the need to ruin the scenes you wanted to watch the most by telling you something banal which he considers absolutely crucial for your knowledge. Huh!

But the fact I loved the most? Its that didn't need to calm down my nerves over anything. It was just so normal. And I spoke freely of all the people in my life and what's going on with whom and how I would like the things to turn out. It all came out naturally coz I knew he won't judge me or my choices.

So, thanx a lot Mr. R for the awesome time we spent. And you, dear readers, call up a friend of complementary gender today and go out with him/her while I bask in the warmth of my new discovery. Adios!