The Delhi Braveheart, Delhi and Us

One year. Endless protests. Continuous tears. Political drama. Juvenile discussions. Conclusion – meh!

It has been one year since the Delhi braveheart was brutally gang-raped on one cold winter night and we are still at exactly the same point it all started. What has changed? Girls are still getting raped on roads, in hospitals, on their honeymoons, workplaces,.. the list goes on. Will there be an end to it, ever? What pains me further is now it is not just limited to adolescent girls; the claws of these merciless animals have not left even kids. Every time I hear about an innocent little girl aged 4 raped somewhere, a part of me dies. What coerced us to become so utterly inhuman that our young ones who are not even aware of what ‘rape’ is, are subjected to it?

There are times when all I can think about is Damini’s family. In what condition will Damini’s parents be? When her dad comes home now, who would hug him? Are there times when her mom needs to call someone for any assistance and ends up calling her name? How she must feel when the realization dawns upon her for the nth time? Who ties rakhi to her brothers now? These are some of the most basic things that may happen every other day. They have received a wound that will remain open for the rest of their lives but what have we learnt?

On one hand is my uncle’s family. During the whole time, when this news was broadcast, he didn’t allow anyone in the home to watch any of the news channels. According to him, he didn’t want to ruin it for his daughters. He believes that just by not allowing them to watch news, he can keep their world rosy forever. I still can’t get his viewpoint. If we don’t know what can strike us anytime, how can we be prepared? You can stop us from going out post-evening but these incidents happen even during daytime. Every college has a bunch of guys whose sole purpose in life is eve-teasing. Someone very close to me has been molested in train by a 50 year old man and the poor girl couldn’t do anything but shout at him once. When I think of all this, I reach to the conclusion that awareness is necessary. But is being aware and alert enough?

On the other hand, we have broad-minded parents like mine, who have always thought that their daughters should get the best education, so what if they are girls? They can walk on the same path that boys do; there’s nothing that their girls can’t achieve, sky is the limit for them. The darling daughter can study as much she wants, can work in any company of her choice, can take her own decisions. But, unfortunately, this whole mindset was a year back. When I joined the company I’m working for right now about six months back, I was hoping I could get posted in Delhi. And this was the moment when all hell broke loose. The girl, who was not told ‘NO’ for anything up until now, was severely reprimanded. When I tried to rebel, my mother tried to explain me gently, “Till the time you reach home, we’ll be worried to death. And this will happen daily. What if one of us fell ill just worrying about you?” That was the time I realized the world will never be the same. In spite of having asked for Delhi already, I simply whisper to God, “I love my parents. I don’t want Delhi.”

She and It

Yes, she is a girl just like me. She too has hopes, dreams, aspirations. Hers favourite too is gupchup I guess. She also likes stories with happy endings. Her upset mood suddenly turns awesome when it rains, just like mine does. And yeah! She too believes in love. Hopes to find her Mr. Perfect. The one who is going to love her, care for her but at the same time, won’t cut her wings if she wants to fly high. She is ambitious, just like I am. And look! She has finally found him. The man of her dreams. The love of her life. She sees him coming on a white horse and sweeping her off her feet. She is happy. Way too happy. She hasn’t been so happy for so long. She is exhilarated. She is euphoric. She is on top of the world with her head held high, coz he is exactly like she wanted her Prince Charming to be. He doesn’t stop her, lets her make her own paths just like a river, clashing with so many rocks, but finally finding a way. She doesn’t care what goes around in the world. She has him. Her happy ending.

But wait! What’s this? What’s happening? Someone is there. Someone who wasn’t supposed to be. Where did this person come from? She has no idea. All she knows is there’s someone who holds his heart, who resides in his soul. He can’t stop thinking about this person. He just can’t give it up. It’s unachievable but still, he has his mind on it. He talks to her but thinks about it. She’s telling him about an adversity she braved today but all he can feel is the feeling when he came in contact with it yesterday. She puts on a happy face and listens to him. She’s worried. She’s afraid. What has happened to her happy little world? He’s still her prince coz he loves her a lot. But, he loves it as well. Maybe a bit more, maybe a bit less. She’s scared now but she’s helpless. She can’t do anything. She blames everything on her fate and carries on. Her Mr. Perfect is goes away from her towards it while she stands there. And all she does is carrying on.

And I? Well, I don’t know what to do or feel. Coz she is a lot like me. But I am the ‘it’.

To Our Dear Bollywood

Just finished watching ‘Salaam-e-Ishq’. Yup. The Bollywood movie which was released in 2007. And my feminist side can’t help being over-active right now. I don’t get it, what is wrong with Indians? I don’t understand how in the end, almost every female character surrenders herself to her husband/boyfriend/taxi driver. For those who haven’t watched it, lemme sum it up. Juhi Chawla takes back her husband who was essentially cheating on her. Ayesha Takia marries her boyfriend who wants nothing more than to enjoy his bachelor status forever. The foreigner who came all the way from States to marry her boyfriend ends up proposing her taxi driver. So what if he helped her throughout? There’s a very basic thing called standard of living, and theirs are as different as they come. And the worst case is Priyanka Chopra’s. She gives up her entire career just to get married to the man she loved coz he asked her to choose between the two. What kinda man does that? 

Now I have really started to think that possibly, Indian cinema is hugely responsible for the demeaning status of women in our society. Does the success of a woman’s life depend only on the fact whether she gets a good husband? Does a woman become a joke if her husband is cheating on her? And do we make a wrong decision if we choose our career over our man? I don’t think so! If I’m getting a great college/job and my guy asks me to leave everything and stay with him as a housewife and I refuse, does it make me heartless? No, it does not! Then why does our film industry think so? Except for a handful of women oriented movies, does it have hopefully, anything in its pocket to defend itself? If they use the old saying that movies are mirror of society then lemme tell you, it’s completely the other way round today. Youngsters think its okay to pester a girl coz ultimately she will come around seeing their persistence. Men think its okay to cheat on their wives coz they are sure she’ll forgive him even if she comes to know of it. After all, she’s a ‘bhartiya naari’. Perhaps the girls who suffer the most are college going girls. I’m sure no explanation is needed here. Sadly, our society is changed so much that women find faults with themselves even if they are the victim. 

It was really nice watching the whole film industry gather to pay respect to the Delhi braveheart. But I keep on wondering why can’t they come forward and ask the government to take some concrete steps towards proper punishment for rapists? We, as common public, can only protest and sign petitions and we did it. But these people have power; they know they will be followed in whatever they do. So why don’t they? Some of them are even MPs. They can initiate the whole process in the Parliament; simply shedding tears once in a while here and there won’t do. On a positive note, kudos to Mr. Javed Akhtar for his words and actions during that time.

I really believe that movies can bring a change in the mindset of people. We can teach some misguided souls that it’s not a girl’s fault that she was raped. And hopefully, with time, our scientists (who are supposed to be the intelligent sect) and saints (who are supposed to be the spiritual sect) will understand that it’s right if a girl protests against getting raped and there’s no way that the rapists will become here brothers. Till then, it continues to pain me as I see some girls watching videos of Honey Singh and drooling over him as his remarks get more and more derogatory.